The Backside of Forty: Racing on Mother's Day?

First day home from hospital

A little over 10 years ago I became a mother to an incredible boy who is growing up all too quickly. Cradling him in my arms has long since passed and holding him in my arms is more of a work-out trying to hold onto an unwieldy item. Luckily he still lets me hug him and tickle him without too many groans. He asks me questions like, "Do I ever have to move out?" which now is endearing but not so much if he's still living with me as an adult. My response is, "Honey, there will come a time that you'll want to move out, to be independent, to have a place of your own." To which he just smiles and hugs me. The thought of him growing up and becoming a man brings so many emotions with it as does any milestones children accomplish. On one hand there is a sense of pride, yup that's MY boy and the other is a sadness that they no longer need your help with something, which honestly hits my self-worth at times. It's only a fleeting moment, but once in awhile I think if I'm not his Mom then who am I?

I'm sure most parents feel this way from time to time, I'm guessing my Mom did, although she only showed me the proud parent part and that's ok. Kids shouldn't be made to feel guilty about an accomplishment just because the parent's self-worth might take a ding. That's all about the parent and nothing about the child. I also believe it's important for parents to retain their "self" through hobbies, friends, activities, job, whatever it is that makes them feel good about themselves apart from their children. This is something I need to work on and no, I don't consider it selfish, I consider it being a well-balanced parent. My mother had running when I was a child and boy was she good at it! She's done countless 5K & 10K races, triathlons, the Quad Games and marathons like the Boston Marathon, the Pittsburgh Marathon and many others. Not only did she run these races, she kicked butt at them, finishing Boston in a little over three hours, that's about a seven minute mile - 26.2 times. I might be able to run a seven minute mile once or twice, but what she did was inspiring.

Mom and I before our race

That's why when I asked her if she wanted to run the Mother's Day 5K with me, I was nervous. When I was younger she was known in running circles, she had a focus and a drive to compete and do her very best, each and every time. That can be very intimidating to someone who's never done anything longer than a 10K. I'm not sure she knows about the admiration I have for her, the pride I feel knowing all she accomplished with her running, how I brag about her running all those marathons and races. But even knowing all of this, I still asked. I wasn't sure if she would agree, I could tell she was hesitant when I first asked, saying things to the effect of "you have been running" and "she might not be able to keep up with me.". We chatted and I told her that I haven't been running as much as I had been last year and she could determine the pace, we could walk and run as much as she'd like. Eventually she agreed, it was about us running alone together for the first time. Don't get me wrong, we've run together with my dad, but never just us two. I didn't want to disappoint her.

The day of the race my parents arrived around 7:30 AM, ready to head down to Presque Isle. It was cool but thank heavens it wasn't raining... or snowing for that matter. My stomach had butterflies and I kept thinking what if I can't keep up with her, what if I trip on something, what if, what if, what if? We get down there and do a quick jog to warm up. My shins were killing me, I just thought ugh. We lined up and once the horn blew the adrenaline kicked in and we were off. I was thinking how awesome it was to be running next to my Mom, that we were doing something special that day, that sense of pride I've had all these years flooded back to the surface. We chugged along the course at our pace. Neither of us like to talk while we run so it worked out well. I had my music in, the iPod spits out how far you went / how many kilometers left which I would tell my Mom. She would just nod. We walked and ran multiple times, but we finished in a little under 35 minutes, together. Come to find out my Mom took 2nd in her age group, how awesome is that? My Dad and my son were there to see us cross the finish line and capture video of us running by, together.

While this Mother's Day may not have been traditional, I wouldn't change it for the world. I got to run a race with my mother, side-by-side. We kept getting passed by a race-walker which for some reason irritated me, it may have been my competitive nature. Come to find out it irritated my Mom as well, lol. We both thought how can someone walking walk faster than us running? It was a great start to the day and hopefully a new tradition. It's never too late to make memories with your family, even if you're on The Backside of Forty.

Mom, I love you with all my heart and want to thank you for sharing that very special day with me. I am so proud of everything you've accomplished, I am proud to call you mother.