January 9, 2016
Just watched this movie. Wow. Incredibly sad for so many reasons. Jacob ended up watching part of it with me, so I stopped and gave him a mini history lesson on WWII Germany and Poland, that Hitler was a psychopath, concentration camps and there were Holocaust survivors today. He was upset about how someone could be condemned just for being Jewish. And at one point turns to me and says, "Mom, this isn't going to have a happy ending, is it?" "No Jacob, it's not." I said. To his credit he continued to watch.
December 13, 2015
Just finished a one-on-one game of basketball with Jacob. What did I learn? 1. I don't know squat about the all the detailed rules of basketball 2. My son is faster, more agile and more skilled at this sport 3. Mommy didn't like losing. I guess I had better practice up if I have any chance of keep up.
December 4, 2015
My son nearly killed me this week.
Jacob: Mom, want to hear some jokes?
Me: Only if they're funny.
J: They are (cheese grin) ...and he begins with a whole slew of Yo Momma jokes. My jaw drops between me laughing.
Me: where did you hear those?
J: YouTube...mental note, check browser history.
Me: Don't tell those at school.
J: Ok. Can I tell this one?... Yo momma's so hairy you had rug burns when you were born.
Me: Almost peeing my pants...do you understand that joke?
J: No (thank heavens), so can I tell it?
Me: Oh hell no honey. Not unless you want me picking you up from the principal's office. That one's for grownups to understand. Besides, you can only tell me these jokes, ok?
J: Ok Mom, but you have to promise to laugh.
Me: I promise!
Love this kid, he makes me smile every day!!
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Jacob's attempt at a selfie on my phone at Erie Insurance Arena after his basketball game today. I hope those two letters are not in his future, but then again, this is the boy who broke both his arms this summer, Lord help me.
August 31, 2015
First day of 5th grade. Looking deceptively happy about it.
August 25, 2015
Jacob and I decide to take a last minute trip to the Cleveland Aquarium today. He walks into my room and goes, "Does this match?" He's wearing a Steelers jersey and brown plaid shorts and a $hit eating grin on his face. My response was, "No." with my are you kidding me face. He laughs and goes, "I know, I don't care, I just want to see what people will say. Do you know they don't call Johnny Football, Johnny Football anymore? That's because he can't play football, even Browns fans acknowledge that." My response, "Did you brush your teeth and go to the bathroom?" As you can tell I'm not a Steelers or a Browns fan. Later on our way back we stop at the Waffle House to eat. We're greeted by an enthusiastic group of employees who have a myriad of thoughts on the subject of football and heard this gem, "If there's a tornado warning in Cleveland, where should you go? The Browns' stadium because there's no chance of a touchdown." Which of course Jacob had to immediately call Grandpa up and share his new joke with wink emoticon Thank heavens Grandpa has a sense of humor!
August 13, 2015
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So, 4 weeks ago Jacob broke both his arms, yes, both. If your going to do something do it big. Today he got his casts off, wooohoooo. He'll be in braces for 2 weeks, but that's much better than casts. He can't wait to go swimming tomorrow. I can't wait for him to bathe himself. And through the entire thing he never cried, only complained a little, and that smile you see on his face, that's how he was pretty much the whole time. What a trooper.
March 24, 2015
Was watching a tv show with Jacob where the characters are fighting over an object in a painting, running up and down stairs, flipping over railings plummeting into oblivion just to reappear at the top. I go, "Oh, that looks like an Escher." Jacob just looks at me, so I repeat, "MC Escher, drew really cool pictures where the stairs lead to upside down landings, where things look like something but really look like something else?" Jacob stops simply looking at me and begins to look at me like I sprouted a second head. I know, my description of Escher was inarticulate at best, lol, so I pulled up some of his work to illustrate. He looks at the pictures and goes, "Mom, why didn't you just say he draws really cool stuff?" I had no response other than a slack jaw, a big sigh and, "Yup, I shoulda said that."
My son asks me in the car, "Mom, do you have a six pack?"
M: "Of what, beer?"
J: "No, abs."
M: "Yes, we all do. You just can't see mine."
J: "You can see mine sometimes."
M: "I'm happy for you."
J: "You're jealous."
M: "Yes, I'm jealous of you being 9."
Silence.
M: "Love, you son."
J: "Love you too Mom."
God I love this kid!!!!
I think I'm watching too much X Files on Netflix...Jacob completed an assignment at school last week to draw and write about what he wants to be when he grows up. It's an FBI Agent and proceeded to draw a picture of Mulder and Scully complete with Scully flashing her badge. He wrote about how Agents serve and protect and left out aliens and government conspiracy. Not sure how I would explain that one to the teacher, lol.
Because it was all about the hair and the collar in the 80s. Decade Day at school.
Jacob, "Mom, I look like an old man. No offense."
Me, "You think I'm old?"
Jacob, "I said no offense."
We both started laughing.
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