RBF – It’s My Face, Deal With It!

THEM	YOU
“What’s wrong?”	“Nothing…”
“Are you ok?”	“Ah, ya...I just said nothing.” Duh
“Why are you grumpy?”	“Grumpy? OMG, seriously?” Rolling my eyes
“Who are you mad at?”	"YOU! Now I’m mad at YOU!” Jackass

How many times have you heard these questions? Over and over, with friends and co-workers, you get to the point where it’s easier to put on fake smile and avoid the who 50 questions game. For years this happened to me until I discovered what’s wrong. I have RBF, otherwise known as Resting B!tch Face.

It’s where your face, when totally relaxed, looks like someone peed in your cornflakes. It’s a hereditary condition and strikes men and women alike. Just so folks are aware, I can’t help that my mouth curves down when I’m just sitting there. I don’t want to hear, “it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown”... Folks, it doesn’t take any muscles because my face is RELAXED – No. Muscles. Required. When you start badgering me, that’s when I use my muscles…to keep my mouth shut and not let a smart a$$ comment escape and give away that fact your mere presence now irritates me. Beside, when did it become a bad thing to relax your face in public? This whole RBF thing became a real when I had a boss (past tense) that didn’t understand the simple concept of a face at rest, that when I was just sitting there thinking or listening, my face naturally looks like I’m frowning. See picture above. People inquired and I reassured them with an honest smile that I was ok. He assumed, even after discussing the whole thing, that I was a negative person and that I “didn’t work well with others.” He shared this perception with his boss and peers and it began to affect my work atmosphere. Yes, I’m serious. So, I developed a “smile” that I plastered on my face in meetings, walking down the hallway, anywhere I was in public.

I didn’t find this particularly genuine, but it had to be done to try and undo the damage done by someone who didn't understand human anatomy. What I don't understand is what is so wrong about letting my face relax? Why do I have to look like Mary-effin-Poppins all day long? And you know what? Who the heck cares if I look grumpy for a moment. It’s not the end of the world. It has nothing to do with how I treat or interact with people, it’s just the way God made my face. I’m ok with it, why can’t others be? In this age where some people still think women should look and act like

June Cleaver (pearls and all), that we shouldn’t have anything but happy thoughts, it makes it hard for those of us that want to act human. There are those of us that are ok with not having a poker face, that simply want to be accepted whether we smile or frown, that don’t want to live a lie by looking like The Joker

every second of the day. So, the next time you’re sitting there, face relaxed, and someone asks what’s wrong, just remember you don’t have to fake-smile your way through the conversation. Just be yourself. We shouldn’t have to fake it to make others feel better.

BTW...that's me with no make-up and bed-head...I am who I am and I'm sick of hiding it.