First Paleo Recipe Review - Lemon & Artichoke Chicken

I've gotta tell ya, my parents are great! Why? Because they have been and always will be my guinea pigs when it comes to trying new recipes. It could be they enjoy supporting my hobbies, it could be they have no desire to cook this stuff at home or it could be they simply love to eat. I don't care what reason is, they are there at the dinner table enjoying good food (most of the time) with lots of laughs, who could ask for more?

I invited them to dinner this past week, it was going to be a quiet Sunday, no sports practice, no plans, I would get to whip something up and why not try something from the Paleo cookbook they got me for Christmas? However, I didn't clue them in until they arrived at my door, didn't want them to chicken out (pun intended). Now, the decision on what was going to be cooked is another thing entirely. I had my son leaf through the cookbook and pick out 5 recipes (always good to get buy-in from the kiddo). From there we picked out Lemon & Artichoke Chicken & Brussels Sprouts with Fennel as a side. Both appeared to be easy to make. My folks came along as I was chopping up the veggies for the side. They had never tried fennel before, so I gave them each a piece to nibble on. For those that don't know, fennel is a bulb shaped veggie that has stalks and texture similar to celery and fronds that look like fresh dill. The taste is a super mild black licorice or anise flavor, not enough to overwhelm, more of a hint with lots of crunch.

I had already put the chicken in by this time and cleaned up the dishes so my mom wouldn't see the mess. Both dishes were easy to cook and I have some suggestions for you as we go through each recipe, hopefully you can make it even easier by learning what went right and what went wrong. Bottom line, both dishes turned out great and were gobbled down.

Lemon & Artichoke Chicken

Ingredients

4 tbs butter, ghee or coconut oil divided into 2 tbs each

2 shallots, 1/4 c onion, sliced or a 1/4 c of chopped green onion

2 c artichoke hearts, thawed and/or drained and rinsed

1/4 c capers, drained

Juice or 2 lemons

2 lbs bone-in, skin on chicken

Sea salt and black pepper to taste

Prep - 15 min / Dishes Count - 2 plates, 2 knives, 1 place mats (cut veggies first then chicken, not the other way around), 1 strainer, 1 measuring cup, 1 oven-proof skillet, 1 fork, 1 spatula, 1 spoon

Began preheating my oven to 375 degrees. Measured my butter out and put on a small plate, one of the 2 tbs cut into small pats. Rinsed and chopped the onions, putting them on the plate with the butter. Dumped 2 - 14 oz can of quartered artichoke hearts in a strainer, rinsed and let them sit. Drained a 3.5 oz jar of capers into the sink and put them in a measuring cup, it was about 1/4 c. Next time, I'll drain and keep them in the jar to save dirtying the measuring cup. Rolled the lemons until they were soft (makes juicing them a whole heck of a lot easier), cut both in half and juiced, making sure no seeds sneak in. I have a cheap juicer that strains the seeds out, one of the best Dollar Store purchases ever. And now the fun part...I purchased a whole chicken that I knew I'd have to cut apart. Well, it turned into a battle, "Sid Versus the Dead Chicken." There was chicken juice on my counter and mangled pieces of meat on the plate and luckily my fingers still intact. It was an ugly battle, but I won. Personally I'm just thankful I remembered to take the innards out prior to the butchering. That would have been just dandy, gizzards and what not cooked in.

Directions

In the large, oven-proof skillet melt 2 tbs of the butter and add the shallots or onion and saute until translucent. Add the artichoke hearts, capers and lemon juice. Stir to combine and heat up, but not to boiling. Turn off heat, place the chicken pieces on top, put the remaining butter, cut into pats, on top of the chicken and salt & pepper to taste. Pop in the oven and begin baking for 45-50 min.

Brussels Sprouts with Fennel

While the chicken is cooking, get started on your side. It cooks at the same temp as the chicken and takes 20 min to cook, so you'll have approximately 25 min to prepare and pop it in the oven so both are ready at the same time.

Ingredients

4 c Brussels sprouts, quartered (1 - 16 oz bag did the trick)

1/2 c fennel (about 1 bulb), thinly sliced, cut the stalks off first

2 tbs melted bacon fat, butter or coconut oil (I used butter, the bacon fat was tempting)

2 tbs chopped fennel fronds (the stuff at the top that looks like fresh dill)

Sea salt & black pepper

Prep time - 15 min / Dishes count - 1 baking sheet (no cleaning if you cover with tin foil), 1 knife, 1 spatula

Put tin foil on the baking sheet to save cleanup. Melted the butter. Washed and cut the bottoms off the Brussels sprouts, then quartered placing them evenly on the baking sheet. Sliced the fennel bulb (round objects are tricky to slice, I always cut a flat area and put that side down, then cut, it adds stability to the veggie, also keep your fingers pulled back from the knife when cutting to prevent mishap and ruining the food) and place slices over the Brussels sprouts. Top with chopped fennel fronds and drizzle butter over the top. Salt and pepper to taste. Pop them in the oven when there is 20 min left for the chicken to cook. Reminder - don't touch the skillet handle without a mitt, lol. Yes, I bumped the skillet handle when putting in the veggies and profanity came out. I said, "F...F...F..." and realized everyone was looking at me. My son pipes in and goes, "Mom, you sounded like a chicken, cluck, cluck, cluck. Better get some cold water on that." We all just started laughing as I put my finger under the cold water. Only my son could make me smile when I'm in pain, gotta love him.

While I'm waiting, I clean up the dishes, counters and set the table. My mom is just itching to help, but I just have her relax and enjoy her coffee. My dad is off having a Nerf gun war with my son, they are competing to see who has better aim. Of course mom and I have to join in. It comes down to my dad and I in the battle for the championship, who can hit the ball off the ladder...winner...tie. Those darn Nerf gun bullets certainly don't shoot straight. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Oven timer goes off, I open the oven and and pull out the dishes. Veggies are tender and chicken juice is running clear, we're good to go. I dish up everyone not forgetting to spoon sauce from the pan over the chicken. We sit down to enjoy our first Paleo meal and each other's company. I love family dinners.

Left is Brussels Sprouts with Fennel. Right is Lemon & Artichoke Chicken. Bottom are the two dished up. Voila! My first Paleo meal.

Recipes used found in:

Practical Paleo, Diane Sanfilippo, Victory Belt Publishing, Inc. 2012

Oven Dried Strawberries - Not So Dried

I decided to try and make oven dried strawberries the other day, my son had the store-bought kind and loved them, but it's hard to find ones not covered in sugar and other crap. So I went online and found a recipe to make them at home in the oven. Looked simple enough so I gave it a whirl.

Preheated my oven to 210 degrees, found my largest cookie sheet, covered it in parchment paper so the berries wouldn't stick and proceeded to wash and quarter the larger berries and halve the smaller berries placing them on the cookie sheet. I spaced them apart to provide air flow as the recipe recommended. This all took approximately 15 minutes.

Put them in the oven for two hours. Checked on them at the two hour mark, they clearly weren't done. Put them back in for another hour. Oven timer goes off, check on my berries and still disappointed, most of them were still mushy/moist. I pulled them out and checked different recipes and decided to let them sit and cool down. Knowing the cats had zero interest in berries, I left them sit for about an hour. 

Unfortunately most were still mushy/moist, not anything I could put in a bag in the pantry with out the fear of mold taking over the inside of the bag. I put them in a container in the fridge instead. They ended up being "super strawberry-ie" as my son put it. I thought they were super tart. I ate a couple fresh ones to "sample the goods" prior to cooking and they tasted great. They will be ok for adding to oatmeal or yogurt.

Will I try it again? Actually, I'm going to try a mango next with different temp and cooking time...will let you know the results. In the meantime, if any of you have been successful with oven dried strawberries, I'd love to hear from you.

Dirty Dishes: 1 cookie tray (strawberry juice leaked through parchment paper, but the paper did keep them from sticking), 1 knife, 1 cutting mat

Time Spent: 30 min total, 15 on prep, 15 on cleanup/put away

Recipe Ease: Super easy

 

Is It Love at First Sight or Do They Only Want...

...your DATA? Picture this, you're sitting at the local coffee shop, sipping a half-caf, skim, sugar-free mochawhosiwhatsit and this hot guy or gal is giving you "the look" across their laptop. Wow! This really is your lucky day. You continue sipping and doing your banking on the tablet you carry everywhere, making every effort to flirt with your soon-to-be soulmate. Suddenly, they jump up and head out the door. Your heart drops knowing you'll probably never see them again. Ugh, why didn't you say hi? Later that day your bank calls with some very bad news, somehow your account has been closed and you now have no money. WTF! And this is just the beginning of the bad news. Before you know it you're up to your elbows in attorney fees trying to get your identity back, all because you used the public wi-fi to pay your bills.

Luckily this scenario has not happened to me. What did happen was my purse was stolen once and the thieves cleaned out my checking account and ran up my credit cards purchasing gift certificates to spend later, all within an hour of the theft. Luckily they threw away my keys, drivers license and other identifying items that were in my purse. Because of fraud protection and my speed at reporting the loss, I was not liable for the purchases and I got my checking account money back. It was a painful incident and I learned to never hang my purse off the back of a chair, ANYWHERE. Still to this day I put my purse between my feet when at restaurants and only bring the bare necessities that fit in my pants pockets to bars.

So how do you protect yourself if you want to use the public wi-fi? You could simply not use electronic devices and read the paper or your book. You could make sure to bring a friend everywhere you go so you have someone to talk to at all times. Or if you really must use electronics, keep these things in mind:

• Avoid visiting sites that require you to log in with a username and password such as banking, email and social media sites.
• Look around you, is someone watching you intently? They are probably trying to see what you're typing and on what site. Sit in a way where observers can't see what you're typing and if you are in public places a lot, invest in a privacy screen.
• Use a VPN or virtual private network. This allows you to browse the internet and not be "seen" by the bad guys/gals.

Be smart and protect yourself, then just maybe that hot guy/gal will really turn out to be your soulmate.

How to Set Up a VPN

Let's Try That Recipe Out

Was there ever a recipe that looked great in the picture but you weren't quite sure if you should cook it? Maybe it has ingredients you've never used before or you think your kids would demand pizza if you told them what was in it. Maybe it's marked as "gluten-free" or "Paleo" and don't know what that really means. Maybe it even calls for too many pots and pans and you don't want the mess to clean up. Trust me, I'm there with you.

Here's an offer for you. If you send me the recipe, I'll cook it and then give you the low-down on what it's really all about. I'll tell you how long prep and cook time really took - most times that's completed by a professional chef that works like a machine slicing and dicing, I'm always wary that I'll cut my finger off. How many pots, dishes and utensils you'll have to clean - I can't stand recipes that end up using 3 or more pans, multiple plates and bowls and 50 spoons - what the heck, I don't have a maid and I'm sure most of you don't either. And most importantly - does it taste ok or will you be ordering a pizza?

Now you may be thinking why would I do this, it's simple...I get new recipes to try and write about, you get a review from someone you know who won't blow smoke up your...nose ;-) Now to be honest, there are some things "I'll do for love, but I won't do that." To quote Meatloaf of course, he really does have a great voice, but then I digress. I won't try deep fried anything, I'm HORRIBLE at frying (except bacon), it's not healthy and it makes my house stink. Recipes that require expensive cuts of meat, probably not, unless it's around the holidays and I can sucker my folks into paying for it (just kidding). They actually have always been great guinea pigs, I can't complain there. And recipes with lots of sugar, sorry, that's one ingredient I'm trying to cut back/eliminate. But feel free to send them along, I may surprise you once in a while, but will probably stick to main meals.

So there you have it, let me be your recipe tester. Just send along the link, an email or put it in the comments and we'll give it a whirl. Ok...who's up first?

Burp! More Soda Please

Are Americans the laughing stock of the rest of the world? As each day passes this question rears its ugly head more and more. We have a dysfunctional family called the Khardashians whose rise to fame was due the matriarch allowing her family's daily lives to be put on TV and the viewing public eating this "reality TV" up. We watch this TV show over the National news. I guarantee you most Americans can tell you what the decathlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner's new transgender name is over knowing a soldier's name from their hometown. Most of us only speak one language, myself included, while the rest of the world is usually bilingual at a minimum. And boy are we fat. Not just a a couple of us with a little extra weight, we're F-A-T, fat. Fat like Randy from "A Christmas Story" whose mom bundles him up with so many layers, when he falls over he can't get back up fat. And what's worse than adults being fat, go to the beach or a swimming pool and look at our kids, they're fat too. It simply breaks my heart. When I was growing up, there might have been one, maybe two overweight kids in class and they were tormented. "Fatty, fatty two-by-four couldn't fit through the kitchen door" and countless other vicious rhymes. Now it's the skinny kids that get picked on because they're atypical. Since when did it become wrong to be a healthy, normal sized kid? Since we became The FAT Americans, that's when.

think most of us know that the obesity epidemic is due to our horrific diet of processed, refined and sugar-filled crap, laden with GMOs and artificial colors and chemicals whose names I can't even begin to pronounce. I'm guilt of ingesting what is being passed-off as "food" but the ingredients, even when I try and sound them out, make me sound like I'm Penny trying to talk to Sheldon about theoretical physics. How do I know that a lot of "foods" have big, grown-up words on the labels? Because for about a year I've been diligently reading them and making a conscious choice about what I eat, albeit not always the best choice. The conclusion I've come to is this epidemic is going to be one of the hardest to overcome. Sugar is in almost everything that's processed, even if it's not needed. Why would soup need sugar? Bread? Juice? And many Americans don't know any better, don't know why white flour, white bread, white rice are unhealthy for themselves and their families. They don't understand the pre-cursors to diabetes and what the lasting effects of this disease are. They think soda is an ok beverage to drink everyday. Yes, I said ok to drink everyday and they let their kids drink it, everyday. Soda in my house is a treat, like candy. It's one of the worst offenders of overall health and wellness in America today.

Here are some facts about soda, pop, cola, coke and all the other names it goes by:

- Causes obesity

- Causes diabetes

- Linked to high blood pressure

- Increased chance of stroke

- Higher rate of osteoporosis

- Tooth decay

You may think I'm just out to slam soda makers, that they're evil. If that's what you think, please do your own research, see for yourself that soda is one beverage that should be avoided except on occasion, it should be a treat, not what you drink for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and before bed. Opt for water with a hint of fruit juice, tea (hot or unsweetened with ice)...there are better choices. While it may be hard to go cold turkey, just know that once your body adapts, and it will, you will feel more energy, your skin will look better and most people lose weight.

Links to Sites:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/131088-bad-effects-cocacola/

http://www.medicaldaily.com/pulse/soft-drink-dangers-8-ways-soda-negatively-affects-your-health-319054

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/diet-soda/faq-20057855

http://health.clevelandclinic.org/2013/03/soda-do-you-drink-it-every-day/

http://www.today.com/health/diet-soda-doing-these-7-awful-things-your-body-1C6558748

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/03/17/bad-news-diet-soda-drinkers-your-favorite-beverage-may-lead-to-more-belly-fat-as-you-age/

Chocolate Pudding - The Wrong Way

Where do I begin? Probably with a little background. I received a Paleo cookbook from my folks for Christmas. No they don't think I'm fat, I asked for one as a gift. I've heard good things about the Paleo way of eating (notice I didn't say diet) and wanted to explore further. I don't call it a "diet" which implies that you're restricting yourself in horrible ways. I may be exaggerating a bit with that statement, but are you every happy when you go on a diet? Do you ever look FORWARD to it? I never have. Where I've found success is changing how I think about food, understanding what food does to/for the body - good and bad - and adjust how I eat accordingly. I know what foods make my body and mind feel good and what food make me miserable. For instance lots of sugar and artificial colors make my face break out. Pretty simple concept once you think about it.

You may be asking, "What does Paleo mean?" or "How do you eat this way?" Simply put, Paleo is eating like our ancestors or eating whole foods, avoiding processed, refined, nutrient-poor, factory made foods. In a bit more detail, it means avoiding grains, most beans, refined sugar (which is in almost everything, you'll be surprised when you read your labels) and pasteurized dairy products. Will it be different at first? Yup. Will you're body crave the processed crap? At first. Will you need to think about what you buy and plan meals? Sure, until you get used to it. Will you feel better, have more energy and get sick less? Heck yeah!

But as the title implies, this is not a lesson on how to eat Paleo, (just wanted to give you a little background on why I even tried this) it's about a not-so-tasty chocolate pudding recipe. I mixed everything up and tasted it, it was NOT good. So I think, I'll let it chill. A couple hours later, gave it another try, still NOT good. Ok, I'll let it chill overnight, maybe the flavors have to mellow and blend together. Next day pulled out the spoons (yes, I had my son try it too) and dug in. My sons eyes grow wide and he starts to gag, runs to the garbage can and spits it out. Admittedly he's a bit of a drama king at times, but then the flavor hits me. I came unbearable close to spitting it out myself. I must have had a weird look on my face because my son bursts out laughing. I just shake my head and empty the remaining batch into the garbage. The one and only good thing about this pudding was the consistency, it was thick and creamy. It looks yummy, but then plays a horrible practical joke on your taste buds.

Here's the recipe if ya'll really wanted to try, but don't say I didn't warn you:

3 large avocados, soft and ripe

1/4 cup cacao powder

3-6 tablespoons coconut, almond or cashew milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tsp coconut oil
2 tablespoons raw honey

Combine avocado, cacao powder, coconut milk, vanilla, coconut oil and honey in blender. Blend on high for 1 minute or until smooth. 
Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

So you have it, my first recipe review of the year. Share with folks if you've tried this recipe and had success or another similar recipe that you like. Happy, healthy eating in 2016.