RBF – It’s My Face, Deal With It!

THEM	YOU
“What’s wrong?”	“Nothing…”
“Are you ok?”	“Ah, ya...I just said nothing.” Duh
“Why are you grumpy?”	“Grumpy? OMG, seriously?” Rolling my eyes
“Who are you mad at?”	"YOU! Now I’m mad at YOU!” Jackass

How many times have you heard these questions? Over and over, with friends and co-workers, you get to the point where it’s easier to put on fake smile and avoid the who 50 questions game. For years this happened to me until I discovered what’s wrong. I have RBF, otherwise known as Resting B!tch Face.

It’s where your face, when totally relaxed, looks like someone peed in your cornflakes. It’s a hereditary condition and strikes men and women alike. Just so folks are aware, I can’t help that my mouth curves down when I’m just sitting there. I don’t want to hear, “it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown”... Folks, it doesn’t take any muscles because my face is RELAXED – No. Muscles. Required. When you start badgering me, that’s when I use my muscles…to keep my mouth shut and not let a smart a$$ comment escape and give away that fact your mere presence now irritates me. Beside, when did it become a bad thing to relax your face in public? This whole RBF thing became a real when I had a boss (past tense) that didn’t understand the simple concept of a face at rest, that when I was just sitting there thinking or listening, my face naturally looks like I’m frowning. See picture above. People inquired and I reassured them with an honest smile that I was ok. He assumed, even after discussing the whole thing, that I was a negative person and that I “didn’t work well with others.” He shared this perception with his boss and peers and it began to affect my work atmosphere. Yes, I’m serious. So, I developed a “smile” that I plastered on my face in meetings, walking down the hallway, anywhere I was in public.

I didn’t find this particularly genuine, but it had to be done to try and undo the damage done by someone who didn't understand human anatomy. What I don't understand is what is so wrong about letting my face relax? Why do I have to look like Mary-effin-Poppins all day long? And you know what? Who the heck cares if I look grumpy for a moment. It’s not the end of the world. It has nothing to do with how I treat or interact with people, it’s just the way God made my face. I’m ok with it, why can’t others be? In this age where some people still think women should look and act like

June Cleaver (pearls and all), that we shouldn’t have anything but happy thoughts, it makes it hard for those of us that want to act human. There are those of us that are ok with not having a poker face, that simply want to be accepted whether we smile or frown, that don’t want to live a lie by looking like The Joker

every second of the day. So, the next time you’re sitting there, face relaxed, and someone asks what’s wrong, just remember you don’t have to fake-smile your way through the conversation. Just be yourself. We shouldn’t have to fake it to make others feel better.

BTW...that's me with no make-up and bed-head...I am who I am and I'm sick of hiding it.

Not Lying, Quick & Easy Dinner

I won't tell you that I love to cook every day, I don't. I also won't tell you I'm above stopping at McDonald's, I do. I try but sometimes I just don't want to cook or even think about being healthy. It's not right but it's honest. So when I find a recipe that's quick, easy and my kid asks for seconds, I'm more than happy to share. This recipe is Lemon Garlic Shrimp Pasta and it's literally a one-pan dish. Woohoo...less clean-up for me. Here we go!

Ingredients

• 8 oz linguine (you can use angel hair or whatever pasta suits your fancy, gluten free, chickpea...it'll all work)
• 2 TBS olive oil (don't need anything fancy here)
• 6 TBS butter (use real butter, not margarine, trust me)
• 4 cloves garlic, minced (you can use pre-minced from the jar and if you love garlic, up the cloves, I usually double it, but no one has to deal with my breath)
• 1 TSP red pepper flakes (use more or less depending whether you like a smidge of heat or alot)
• 1 - 1.25 lbs shrimp (do yourself a favor and get fresh shrimp already peeled and deveined, this is about quick and easy)
• salt & pepper (have at it, whatever floats your boat here)
• 1 TSP Italian seasoning (you can also throw in your own mix, just don't let it overpower the other flavors)
• 4 cups baby spinach (or broccoli, peas, carrots, yellow or red bell pepper, Swiss chard...they would all work)
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese (grated, shredded, Romano, Kraft...it'll all work)
• 2 TBS parsley, chopped (I've skipped it both times, you won't miss it)
• 1 TBS lemon juice (fresh or bottled, I've used both and it tastes same)

Directions

1. In a large pot cook the pasta of your choice according to directions. Don't over cook or it'll turn into a mushy pile of gloop. Drain & set pasta aside.
2. In the same pan, heat olive oil with 2 TBS of the butter (real, skip the fake stuff), add the garlic and red pepper flakes for just a couple minutes until you can smell the garlic cooking.
3. Add the shrimp, salt & pepper to taste cook until the shrimp start to turn pink, don't cook them all the way. Add Italian seasoning and the veggie of your choice. If you chose frozen veggies, microwave them prior or you'll lengthen the cooking time. Cook until all ingredients have been heated up.
4. Add pasta back in, remaining butter (cutting up the 4 TBS makes melting easier), parsley (if you bothered with it), Parmesan cheese and stir till butter is melted.
5. Sprinkle on some lemon juice and extra cheese if you're a cheese-a-holic like me.
6. Slap it on a dish and voila, dinner is served.

Hints

• Pay attention to the shrimp and try not to overcook. Add the veggies as the shrimp are turning pink. If you wait until the shrimp are all pink, that means they're already done before you're finished cooking all the ingredients.
• Adding a sprig of parsley at the end or a lemon wedge serve as nice garnishes if you're looking to make it a bit more fancy.
• Colored veggies will help paint a pretty picture on your plate.

Bottom line, this is a quick and tasty mean in under 30 minutes. Give it a try and let me know.

Hand Gestures of the Week: Bad Behavior Fouls

Let's start with defining the word respect. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "an act of giving particular attention; high or special regard; or the quality or state of being esteemed." Why am I starting with this? Because the two fouls we'll be discussing here today stem from lack of respect for the referee, coaching staff and / or other players on the field. Simply put, they are fouls for bad behavior.

I understand that you can get riled up during a game, the adrenaline is flowing, the testosterone is raging, you get caught up in the heat of the moment. But is any of that really an excuse for treating a human being like crap? What kind of example does a coach or parent set for players when they're calling the ref names or dropping the f-bomb every other word? The players will then think they can disrespect the ref, their opponent and eventually that turns into disrespecting their coaches and parents. They think that if I can talk this way to one adult, I can talk this way to all adults. Besides, if the roles were reversed do you really want anyone up-in-your-face, spitting out words like Gary Oldman's character on friends? I wouldn't. 

So, let's get down to it shall we? First up is a personal foul, UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT. There are two categories of UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT, non-releasable & releasable. The referee will make the same hand gesture for both. Non-releasable: arguing with an official, using threatening or obscene gestures, bating or taunting, or any other act officials deem unsportsmanlike. Releasable: repeatedly committing the same technical foul, not returning to the field immediately and a substitute deliberately not complying with rules for entering a game. To the right is a quick video that shows the official motion for the foul. It's pretty simple...arms extended on the sides and raised. At the end of the video he does reference football, but the motion made is the same for lacrosse. 

The other bad behavior foul I'd like to discuss is a technical foul, called CONDUCT FOUL. This is when someone aggressively argues or makes gestures about a decision by an official or commits other acts considered misconduct by the official. To the left is a video that demonstrates the arm motion by the official to call this foul.

So, what's the difference between UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT & CONDUCT FOUL? From what I understand, it comes down to the type of foul it is (technical foul usually involves a moving or time violation. They usually result in a 30 second penalty if the fouling team doesn't have the ball at the time of the foul or personal foul involves an infraction that has malicious intent. These penalties are punished by one to three minutes in the penalty box depending on the severity.), whether there's contact or not and the official's judgement. This can be a challenging situation for an observer, coach, player or referee since there are similar types of behavior demonstrated for each type of foul. Respect the decision.

IMHO these are some of the easiest penalties to avoid. When a ref makes a call you don't agree...keep your mouth shut. If someone starts smack-talking and callin' yo' mamma' names...keep your hands to yourself and walk away. Someone flips you off, drops the f-bomb, realize they're trying to provoke you, if you let them, more than likely you're the one who will get the penalty. Walk away and get back to playing lacrosse. Most of all, respect the officials, the coaches, the players and most importantly, yourself. Set a good example and you'll never have to worry about these penalties. Yes, it's that easy.

Hand Gesture of the Week: Warding Off

It's been a couple weeks since I posted anything...I'm thinking of changing this series to "Hand Gesture of the Month" - let's see if I can get back into the swing of things after vacation & a job change.

Ok...so let's talk about the technical foul called WARDING OFF or WARDING for short. When I first heard this foul, I thought I heard "awarding" and I'm like "Wow, they stop the game and give awards to the players?" Alright, totally kidding there, but I really wasn't sure what it was. All I could tell was one player was invading another player's personal space and the invadee got in trouble for pushing the invader away. I just imagine him saying, "Get outta my face dude" but with much more color. Believe it or not my son taught me about WARDING a couple years ago when we were playing in the yard. He would get so mad at me when I had the ball and he'd try and poke me in the ribs under my arm. So I would drop my arm and trap his stick under it and pull it out of his hands. I found great humor in doing this but he'd always yell, "Mom! You're warding, you can't do that!" I'm like, "But it's funny." Him, with all his pre-teen-I'm-practicing-my-sarcasm charm would reply, "No Mom, it's really not." Finally he took the time to explain what it was. Even after all that and still to this day, if he pokes me and I can stick his crosse under my arm and pull it out I will. It's getting harder as his pokes are getting stronger and he knows my trick.

So what the heck is WARDING OFF officially? Per US Lacrosse, it's "a player in possession of the ball shall not use his free hand, arm or any other part of his body to hold, push or control the direction of the movement of the crosse or body of the player applying the check." Other words, in most cases the invadee has to suck it up. There are a few exceptions: 

• If the player who has the ball keeps both hands on his stick / crosse
• Keeps his head up and doesn't make contact with the other player
• Administers a proper bull dodge

This video from US Lacrosse does a great job of taking you through WARDING OFF.

Here's a very short video of the gesture the referee makes for the WARDING foul.

Hope you've learned a bit more about lacrosse. If there's any signal / foul you'd like to know more about, let me know. Until next time, keep your head up and your hands on the stick.

References

• US Lacrosse Boys Rules

Hand Gesture of the Week: Slashing

Ok, those that know me are probably scratching their heads, wondering where I'm going with this. Right or wrong, I've been known to flip someone off. Usually it's in jest with a friend who's being a jerk or that dork driver who has no idea what a turn signal is. But in this case, you're safe! While maybe not as fun, we'll be discussing referee hand signals for lacrosse.

So, I'm three years into this game and while I'm getting better at interpreting the wild and crazy gestures made by the ref, there are still many that are as mysterious as the lost continent of Atlantis or the Bermuda Triangle. I've decided to really try and learn the signals and in the process, want to share that with you. Each week I'll be discussing one referee signal, what it means and when possible, posting with a video of the offense and gesture itself. But before we get into the actual signals, you should know the difference between a personal foul and a technical foul. A personal foul involves an infraction that has malicious intent. These penalties are punished by one to three minutes in the penalty box depending on the severity. A technical foul usually involves a moving or time violation. They usually result in a 30 second penalty if the fouling team doesn't have the ball at the time of the foul. If the fouling team had the ball at the time of the foul, the ball is awarded to the team that was fouled. Ok, now we have that down-pat, let's get to the hand gesture of the week...SLASHING (and not the kind Freddy Krueger is so fond of).

SLASHING is a poke in the ribs, chest, neck or back. It's a vicious, uncontrolled swinging of the stick, whether contact is made or not. This is considered a personal foul. Below is a video that reviews the rule and the gesture made by the ref.

Here are some videos of actual slashes during a game:

Well, that's it for our first installment of "Hand Gesture of the Week." I hope it was beneficial and watch for my next blog.

References:

• Lacrosse Rules & Regulations
• Laxtown
• US Lacrosse

U This & That, What It Really Means in Lacrosse

Are you and your child new to lacrosse? Or, like me, have a couple years under your belt, but still aren't 100% positive what it means when a program lists something like "14U" or "2023." I did a little research and found a couple articles on the US Lacrosse site that explains the breakdown and the logic behind it. I'm going to share that with you below in the hopes it'll help everyone.

The break-down of lacrosse groups by age is called player segmentation. Knowing which group your child should play in can be confusing at times, especially when programs combine age levels on one team or list one age level, but include multiple grades in that group. For most programs you will see something like "14U" - the 14 is the maximum age for that group, the U meaning under that maximum age. As we all know your child may be a young 7th grader or an olders 1st grader. In that situation, look to the year your child was born as the determining factor in conjunction with how US Lacrosse defines a playing year (September 1 - August 31). 

Now...many areas don't have enough players to field one team at each level. I know the Erie, PA area is like this. So levels are combined on one team. You may see a grouping like 13U / 14U or 11U / 12U. In those situations look to the highest number, that is the maximum age that can be on the team. Some teams may not list out 13U / 14U but are a combined age range. Same rule applies regarding maximum age allowed on the team. If you aren't sure, simply contact the program administrator for details. US Lacrosse typically doesn't like age groups spanning greater than 24 months due to a variety of reasons.

Next question you may ask is, "Why do I see graduation year listed for some programs?" Great question and can lead to some confusion when looking a programs. Graduation year is the year your child will graduate from high school. Typically you see this listed when looking at programs for high school aged players. You will also see graduation year listed for many lacrosse camps, tournaments & recruiting events, even for ages younger than high school. You can use the chart below as a loose reference and when in doubt, check with your program administrator for clarification. 

Max Age / Grade / Graduation Year
7U / 1st grade / 2029	13U / 7th grade / 2023
8U / 2nd grade / 2028	14U / 8th grade / 2022
9U / 3rd grade / 2027	15U / 9th grade / 2021
10U / 4th grade / 2026	16U / 10th grade / 2020
11U / 5th grade / 2025	17U / 11th grade / 2019
12U / 6th grade / 2024	18U / 12th grade / 2018

I hope this helps clarify program ages & guidelines. If you would like additional information, please check out:

• US Lacrosse
• US Lacrosse Player Segmentation
• Detailed Player Segmentation Information
• US Lacrosse Player Segmentation Policy and FAQ

Thank you and enjoy your time on the field.

Sun Basket - Is It Worth It?

"Summer's here and the time is right for dancing in street..." I'm sitting watching David Bowie and Mick Jagger frolic around (yes, I would consider it frolicing) in typical 80s garb. I'm not sure which I'm chuckling at more, the dancing or the clothes. Now, if I had time to dance in the street I just may if only to bug my son who thinks my dancing is embarrassing. Trust me I know I ain't got rhythm, but sometimes it's just fun to dance. What would make me more happy than dancing? Finding easy, quick and healthy meals to serve up. In this installment of "Glutton for Punishment" we'll see if Sun Basket is all it's cracked up to be and will get me dancing in the streets.

Of course I found a coupon for the Sun Basket meal service, I'm too cheap to try things like this without one. Ok maybe cheap isn't the right word, let's go with frugal. Nope, still blah...let's try smart. Yup, I'm too smart to try things like this without a coupon. I signed up at their site which was easy.

I selected the Paleo plan. They also have Chef's Choice, Lean & Clean, Gluten-free, Vegetarian, Mediterranean, Vegan, Pescatarian, Diabetes-friendly and Quick & Easy.  Reviewed my recipes and swapped out the ones that didn't sound good or I know my son would complain about. I know I should just make him eat it and for the most part I do, but when you're a single mom, sometimes you just don't have the energy to argue. A couple weeks later my first box arrived. Outside looked great, inside was well packed, there was nothing leaking or mushed. Each meal came in its own brown paper bag. And what I really liked, everything is recyclable. Yup, even the ice packs. Halle-freakin-lujah!

That's one thing that bothered me about the other services, I mean you can only have so many ice packs in your freezer. It also comes with a recipe book that not only gives you the recipes, but helpful cooking tips, ideas on how to get your kids involved with cooking and easy substitutions or additions. Not a bad start.

The recipe I decided to try first was Spicy Yuba Noodle Stir-fry with Citrus Miso Dressing and Mango. Long recipe name and hopefully you can get past the fact that yuba noodles are made from the skin that forms on the surface when soy milk cooks and the proteins and fats rise to the top. Yeah, totally don't think about it. I prepped the ingredients.

 I'll have to admit on this recipe some of the prep work was a pain in the a$$. They asked you to cut thin strips of pea pods for garnish. A bit intensive for a quick, weekday meal. I ended up only doing a couple and saved the rest to slap on a salad. One thing I did like is the directions told you what to prep, cook, etc in the order that made the overall cooking efficient. Cooked everything up, plated, sprinkled black sesame seeds on top (which, by the way, I think look like roasted ticks and they taste like dirt, imho) and took a bit. The spicy noodles combined with the mango was a nice combination. I enjoyed the dish and the leftovers tasted great too. I went with the vegetarian version, but you could easily add shrimp or another protein in the dish. Sun Basket gives you that option as well as an option to select organic meat. It's an upcharge but many folks think if everything else you're eating in the meal is organic why mess it up with non-organic meat. But the option is yours.

Later in the week I went onto cook the Greek Orzo Salad with White Beans Tomatoes and Feta, another veggie options which was very tasty both warm and made a great cold salad. The last recipe in the box was Lettuce-wrapped Turkey Burgers with Basil Mayo and Warm Peach Salad. This last recipe was a fail for multiple reasons. One, the ground turkey came out of the container the consistency of toothpaste. It was impossible to form into burgers and I decided to grill. The patty-like things seeped down between the grill bars. Two, when I pulled the turkey "burgers" off the grill with my tomatoes and peaches, I managed to dump everything on the deck. I set Gizmo (my dog) to work cleaning up what I couldn't pick up. Three, the mayo that was going to be infused with basil was just nasty. Too much tang or something, blah. I can't actually tell you how any of it tasted, but my son was thrilled when we ordered out that night and I found that the majority of you are NOT turkey burger fans. Who knew?

I've decided to keep the subscription for a couple more weeks to try a few more recipes. I've also changed the plan to "Clean & Lean" and will check out different recipe options. I'd like to see if the consistency of quality products on delivery remain. I may also try some of the "add-ons" they have like hummus and red pepper dip, healthy snacking options at your fingertips. So far it's been a positive experience. Pros: Easy to sign-up and make adjustments. The food that I actually got to eat was flavorful and all containers / shipping packages, including the ice packs, are recyclable. Cons: Some of the prep-work was a bit detailed for a week-day dinner and the one recipe was questionable. At the moment the pros outweigh the cons.

Why don't you give it a try for yourself, here's a quick link to get you started: Sun Basket. As always, let me know what you think and what you want me to try out next.